When You Have Scar Tissue in Your Veins, It's Time for a Break

I went back for my repeat beta on Friday morning. I drove to the RE's office in the cold rain, wearing a sweater for the first time this year (which immediately began creeping up at the bottom, over the mound of bloated belly I have unfortunately become accustomed to), and I sat in the waiting room, fidgeting nervously.

The nurse called me back and I did not miss the sympathy in her eyes and in her voice, so I knew from the get-go that she wasn’t expecting a miracle in my case, so neither should I. Then came the poking. I stuck out my right arm, as I had done the left on Wednesday. It’s good to switch sides. The needle went in, a huge pain ensued, and the nurse gently told me that she had struck some scar tissue in my vein (a sure sign I’ve been poked too many times) and could not draw the blood. She was very apologetic as she removed the needle and tried again on the other arm, next to Wednesday’s bruises. Complete with two bandages, I left the doctor’s office with very little hope.

My hopes ebbed even more a little while later when I went to the bathroom and discovered I had begun to spot. Sigh.
Fast forward to 2:00 p.m. I am in the backseat of my car, riding past the Pentagon into Washington, D.C. My husband is driving, my mom beside him. We have all just gone to lunch. His cell phone rings. It’s the nurse. I know immediately from his tone that it’s the news we all expected. Once again I have stagnant beta results. It is still 6. Much like last time in May, when it was an unchanged 44. By Saturday morning, AF had arrived.

So, another chemical pregnancy. We have decided to take this month off from treatments. I have had it with IUI, and I need to do more research/soul searching before we dive into IVF. Oh, and I need to come up with $10,000. We will consult with the doctor and see what he recommends for our next step. But for October, I am going to exercise, rest, and enjoy my husband. Maybe even have sex for fun (gasp!).

I’m sure by next week I’ll be peeing on ovulation sticks, and I’ve already ordered two books on conquering infertility. So I’m not out of this game, just sitting out an inning or two. Stay tuned.