Crackheads Can't Quit, and Neither Can I

We had our consult with our RE today. I went in armed with two pages worth of questions (along the lines of Why the fuck am I not pregnant and what are you going to do about it?) and came out feeling the familiar tug at my ovaries. I crave the needles and the sonograms and the crazy crazy hormones. Well, not really, but I need to keep taking the next step. It looks like this one month break is going to be all the time we take off, and we're jumping back in the stirrups again soon. That's right folks. We're taking the IVF plunge. I still can't believe things have gone this far, but there you go.

We haven't made things official with the doctor's office yet, but after a few hours of mulling things over, both my husband and I decided we are ready. Why wait? This is what we need to do.

Reasons to do IVF:

1. We want a baby. Not next year, not by the time I'm 35, NOW. Well, actually, we want a baby a year ago, but that seems a little unrealistic, doesn't it?

2. It's our best shot. I've always thought of IVF as a last resort, but I'm trying to change my thinking. It's not the last resort, it's the BEST resort.

Reasons not to do IVF:

1. What if it doesn't work? We'll be out $10,000 and I will officially go over the edge. I'm teetering as it is.

2. What if it turns out it is a last resort, and it doesn't work? Well, that's not likely. Even if we have to try several times, I believe it will work eventually.

3. It's scary. It will involve tons of needles, absolutely chaotic hormones, extreme bloating (as if I'm not already bloated enough most of the time), and it will be completely emotionally exhausting. Did I mention my fear that it won't work??

Fears aside, we both think this is our best chance right now, and one should always take the best chance when it comes along. And hell, this could end up being the best $10,000 we ever spend. Then again, you could buy a whole lot of crack with that...